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Dockyard Derby Dames Season 6 opens with several twists

Mollies trample the Trampires highest score in league history

By Kimberly Swetland
On April 2, 2012

On March 31, the Dockyard Derby Dames held their opening Season 6 Bout 1 in the Health Education Center Gymnasium  at Pierce College, Ft. Steilacoom, which had been rescheduled from January because of the 'terrifying snowpocalypse.'

There were plenty of interesting twists to this season opener that kept everyone on the edge of their seats, assuming they were lucky enough to find a seat in the bleachers or on the floor. The Dames are known for packing the house to the helm.

Following the national anthem, Hellbound Homewreckers' skater Twiggie Smalls (#99 Problems) and jam referee Henchman had a surprise derby wedding ceremony on rollerskates in the center of the gymnasium floor, as onlookers cheered. Twiggie was beaming with her bouquet of lilies and daffodils.

Jammers Hit-O-Honey (#82) and Ethel Vermin (#77) steered the Marauding Mollies into a nice lead in the opening jams of the first period. During the period, the Mollies' strategic skating saw an increasing lead in points. In one jam, Trampires jammer LT Stryker (#1040 EZ) was on the heels of Hit-O-Honey and about to gain the lead when Hit-O-Honey decided to call off the jam. The Trampires weren't without their bite. Lydia Beatz (#6'7'8' Punch) skated like a rocket around the track, followed by Ethel Vermin until My Tai Smasha (#18 n' Legal) skated in for the block.

Hit-O-Honey, Lucy Stools (#29), and Booty Trapp (#56) continued to rack up the score for the Mollies. Mia Smackabitch (#R10T) also found a hole in the wall of Mollies blockers, bringing up the Trampires' score to 25, and Foxy Kamikaze (#77) launched it to 28. Despite their vicious attempts, the Trampires still found themselves in a hole, being buried undead by the Mollies. Toward the end of the match, as Mollies jammer Hit-O-Honey sat in the sin bin, Rusty O'Tulle (#9/16) brought the Trampires up to 83 points. P.O'd Peewee (#51) of the Trampires took the lead jam but was blocked off by Anita Hit Sum Won (#420) and Foxy Kamikaze took a huge hit from Vicious Divalicious (#33). The final score for Bout 1 was Marauding Mollies 222, Trampires 147, the highest score in the league's five year history and the first time the Mollies beat the Trampires.

The second bout of the evening saw a lot of domestic violence between the Hellbound Homewreckers and the Femme Fianna. RayWOW (#55) was knocked to the floor and stayed down until the EMT was called in, but got up and skated it off. After getting a grand slam for the Hellbound Homewreckers, Ida Spyze Her (#24/7) slipped to the ground and called off the jam. Chocolate Coma racked up ten points for the Homewreckers but during a jam was blocked by Mistress VonTrample (#22).

Robin Y'Man (#54),  Ida Spyze Her, and Chocolate Coma continued to increase the Homewreckers' lead. At one point, Ferrah Moans (#311) skated onto her knees but managed to go over the top of another skater. Pink-Eye Candy (#37 lashes) added another grand slam for the Homewreckers, while Femme Fianna jammer Stranger Danger (code 971) was walled out by Streeperella (#G-13) and Sister Slaughter (#480). Pink Eye candy scored three grand slams in a row bringing the Homewreckers to 195 points. Stranger Danger was taken out by Chocolate Coma twice on the defense in a jam. And while Robin Y'Man sat in the sin bin, RayWOW scored a grand slam bringing the Fianna to 71 points. The Fiannas then entered into a power jam with Pink Eye Candy sitting in the penalty box, but she came out to be the lead jammer, adding another 3 points for the Homewreckers for a final score of HellboundHomewreckers 129, Femme Fianna 76. The next bout is May 5. Doors open at 5 p.m., first bout starts at 6 p.m. Cost is: $12 in advance, $15 at door. Tickets can be purchased through brown paper tickets online.

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