2008 Woodie Awards
Opinion: Engaged & Underaged
A Ledger staff member shares her thoughts on the stigma of marrying young.
Emmi Buck
Issue date: 5/22/08 Section: Campus News
No, I am not pregnant. He is not in the military. The marriage is not arranged. Also, he is not a 40-year-old plastic surgeon promising me a new Mazerati after the wedding. What happened to falling in love and getting married? Only in 1940 was it popular to get married before your thirties, I guess. I am 20 years old, getting married this summer, and my fiancé is 21. I am fine with breaking the popular and cultural "norm," but why are young engaged couples portrayed so poorly in our media?
The popular MTV show "Engaged and Underage" is painful for me to watch. The couples appear so juvenile and immature. They are occasionally pregnant pre-wedding, and the parents usually hate the fiancé. They seem to always be from low-income or from very dysfunctional families. I am sure this is because it makes good TV, but I also know plenty of young engaged couples who are as far from those couples on popular television shows as can be.
"They are making a mistake" is a common phrase uttered when people talk about young couples getting married. Why? I know many parents who got married at very young ages, and have been happily married for over 30 years. If people are upset with the skyrocketing divorce rates, maybe they should stop betting on how long young couples will last, and start supporting them. Perhaps if young engaged people had guidance, advice and positive support, we wouldn't feel doomed from the start.
On campus, I have come across a few other young women in my situation: engaged before the age of 21 and it isn't for money or being "knocked up." These fellow "norm-breakers" can relate to questions I have been asked. "So, are you going to live with his parents… or are you living at home still?" No, neither of us lives with our parents. We aren't in middle school. We are adults, folks!
If a couple find love, and wants to get married, should age matter? Should society doom them from day one, and question their reasoning for marriage? I vote no to all of the above, and hope I am not the only one who feels this way. In the state of Washington, divorce rates are down by about one percent, and marriage rates are also down - by three percent. Where is the love? Let's all step up and support young love!
The popular MTV show "Engaged and Underage" is painful for me to watch. The couples appear so juvenile and immature. They are occasionally pregnant pre-wedding, and the parents usually hate the fiancé. They seem to always be from low-income or from very dysfunctional families. I am sure this is because it makes good TV, but I also know plenty of young engaged couples who are as far from those couples on popular television shows as can be.
"They are making a mistake" is a common phrase uttered when people talk about young couples getting married. Why? I know many parents who got married at very young ages, and have been happily married for over 30 years. If people are upset with the skyrocketing divorce rates, maybe they should stop betting on how long young couples will last, and start supporting them. Perhaps if young engaged people had guidance, advice and positive support, we wouldn't feel doomed from the start.
On campus, I have come across a few other young women in my situation: engaged before the age of 21 and it isn't for money or being "knocked up." These fellow "norm-breakers" can relate to questions I have been asked. "So, are you going to live with his parents… or are you living at home still?" No, neither of us lives with our parents. We aren't in middle school. We are adults, folks!
If a couple find love, and wants to get married, should age matter? Should society doom them from day one, and question their reasoning for marriage? I vote no to all of the above, and hope I am not the only one who feels this way. In the state of Washington, divorce rates are down by about one percent, and marriage rates are also down - by three percent. Where is the love? Let's all step up and support young love!
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 4
jamie
posted 6/03/08 @ 1:39 AM PST
I absolutly agree with you EMMI BUCK..
there's not enough support for "young marriages"
Here, in California, divorce rates are pushing 50% and climbing. (Continued…)
Ken A.
posted 7/07/08 @ 3:59 PM PST
I completely agree. People should wait to get married. It's great to experience life with a partner, but it's important to "shop around" so that you can find the right person for you. (Continued…)
Angela
posted 9/29/08 @ 8:58 AM PST
THANK YOU EMMI!!! I am 18 and engaged to my almost 21 year old fiance. I am also not pregnant nor have money or dysfunctional family issues. We are both in college and working, and consider ourselves responsible adults. (Continued…)
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