Ledger

Being a student / current military member, I had a unique perspective compared to the aging activists who packed the auditorium to see Daniel Ellsberg at the Washington State history Museum Friday night.

Granted, not every one in the packed auditorium was an "aging activist," but I realized my youth when Ellsberg quipped that a few of the attendees were probably in strollers during the Vietnam War protests of 1969. Actually, I thought, I wouldn’t be in a stroller for another 12 years.

It wasn’t my darling youth that gave me a unique perspective that night. It was the fact that I was probably one of the only people in attendance that night who would ever have to act on Ellsberg’s words.

Speaking on the importance for government officials to exercise moral and legal judgments before blindly following orders, I noticed that few in the audience -- a sea of pony tails and cardigans -- would ever face the grueling decision that Lt. Ehren Watada faced when he said "No, I will absolutely not support this war."

I’m sure that many in the crowd already paid their activist dues at sometime in the past -- whether it be a burnt draft card or jail time for civil disobedience. But man, I felt like I was the only one in that audience who actually had to seriously question himself that night.

After some deep introspection, I came up with what were some honest answers to a moral dilemma that has been playing in my head for a few years now. I plan on sharing those with you, speaking not as a representative of the armed forces, but as a representative of the human race.

I never personally supported the Iraq War, and my feelings grow only stronger as the death-toll rises. I, like many Americans, view this war as one waged out of aggression and hegemony.

However, I will support my fellow brothers-in-arms with my life, as long as I stay in the military. It has nothing to do with an oath, or some warped ideology of patriotism, but out of a deep sense of loyalty that comes from watching others sacrifice so much for so little.

I’ve seen combat rescuemen scale a mountain for days in blizzard conditions and sleep in ice caves overnight, all to go on a Snipe hunt for three mountain climbers they never met before. I’ve seen aircrews deliberately disobey orders to pick up one more load of critically injured patients after Hurricane Katrina, despite flying missions for more than 20 hours straight. I’ve had an Army patrolmen explain to me how giving one Iraqi child his MRE, and seeing the smile on the kids face, made it worth being away from his own son.

I hate these wars...both the Iraq conflict and the humanitarian one waged on our own soil. But I love the people who are fighting them.

If called to serve in Iraq, I will more than likely go. It’s not a decision I came to lightly, and I know it will not sit well on my conscious. However, I supported the mission by deploying when the war began, and I will support it again, up to a certain point.

That point is Iran.

Do I believe Lt. Watada to be a traitor or a hero for refusing to go to Iraq? I would like to think of him as the former, as he was honest with his intentions and stuck to his convictions. For that is the true definition of a hero -- someone you can rely upon to do what’s right, every time, no matter the circumstance.

A traitor is the exact opposite -- someone who will lie and goad you into doing what deep in your heart you know is wrong. If you follow their lead the first time, it’s hard to be blamed. But any time after that, it’s on you.

Thank you Lt. Watada for making me come to this conclusion. And thank you all for reading the most honest thing I’ve ever written.