2008 Woodie Awards
Campus Chatter
Russe Clappe, Imaginary Correspondent
Issue date: 1/24/07 Section: Arts & Entertainment
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Hey, hey, hey! Russe Clappe here ("The u is long and the two e’s are silent, baby.") with the inaugural edition of my fabulous column, where I dish out the skinny on local Husky drama, fashion and student gossip.
Fashion alert…
Speaking of fabulous fashion, did anyone see how the cold weather brought out all the weirdos? Señor Clappe witnessed the most heinous display of blue leg warmers and shorts ever… if you see this dude, tell him Russe Clappe was offended.
Freshman class…
Scooby Doo where are you…
It’s fun to stay at the YMCA…
Plague on the rise…
The weather outside is frightful…
And finally, I saw Daddy kissing everybody…
Nothing screams romance like the big- screen TV in the oUWTpost. Sadly, everyone else is making out there instead of me. Maybe if I kiss one of those Mattress Factory rats it’ll turn into my Prince Charming!? Our region’s recent polar express was daunting … if you’re only four inches tall!!! I can’t believe how crippling this smattering of snow was to the greater Puget Sound area. Grow some courage people, even Russe Clappe himself continued to gallivant unimpeded through T-Town’s seedy underbelly. Word has it that there’s a new infestation in the Mattress Factory, and no I’m not talking about the Ledger, Tahoma West or Student Life. Rats have been reported in the Career Development Center. Are they looking for jobs? However, while some of us poor slobs have begun using the new athletic facilities on campus, my sources say there’s more interest in whip-creamed mochas at Starbucks than in the UWT Fitness Center. Let’s get our booties down there and shed that holiday pork. We’re all paying for the events held on campus, but the same five people are the only ones Herr Clappe sees there… and I’ve made out with all of them! It’s time for some new blood, people! Some of you people are the lamest freshmen Monsieur Clappe has had the opportunity to stalk. First of all, a complete sentence includes a subject and a predicate. Also honeys, every sentence does not have to end with "totally." For all you sweethearts out there who think you can pull off low-ride jeans during a snowstorm, I say pull them all the way off. No one wants to see your crack -- we’d rather see you bundled up in your worn out sweatpants. Fashion’s cruel… need you be, too?
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