2008 Woodie Awards
Journey of a formerly big student
Jessica Corey-Butler
Issue date: 5/3/06 Section: Health and Wellness
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I am not a weight-loss success story. Yet.
The way I see it, if I were fully successful in my "lifestyle change," I wouldn't be a cringing, self-conscious poodle at the prospect of baring my legs in shorts.
But I am about a million miles away, in terms of self-image, from where I was on Jan. 1, 2002. That was the first of my low moments. Knowing that I was no longer pregnant, but still unable to fit in any of my clothes, stung.
More low moments followed. Seeing photos of "That Fat Girl." Hearing the scale shout "TWO HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE!" at me. Feeling the snugness of the super-stretchy pants I found, the largest ones I could get in the "regular" department, so that I could have something to wear when I returned to work.
When I fell down the stairs and injured myself, holding my baby, I realized things had to change. When I finally gained the ability to walk again, I changed.
I knew my weight issue had more to do with how I felt about the numbers I was seeing than the numbers themselves. Sure, I wanted to be able to shop in regular departments for regular sizes, but more than that, I wanted to walk up the stairs without panting. I wanted to feel good about myself, not embarrassed, so I could model self-love to my child, not a hidden self-loathing.
I started by seeking psychotherapy, and by establishing a relationship with exercise.
Exercise helped give me endorphins I badly needed, and was a way to connect with nature, and with my daughter.
I would stick her in the backpack, and we would walk all around Tacoma. Point Defiance Park was a favorite haunt, as were The Museum of Glass, the UWT campus and my Northwest Tacoma neighborhood.
I became fit, and sub-two hundred pounds. I decided to run a race. Once I completed the Sound to Narrows 5K, I decided to give triathlons a try.
I completed my first sprint triathlon at one hundred eighty-something pounds, and determined that the next year, I would complete all three in the Fort Lewis Triple Threat series, in addition to running the Bank-to-Bay 10K and the Sound-to-Narrows 12K.
The way I see it, if I were fully successful in my "lifestyle change," I wouldn't be a cringing, self-conscious poodle at the prospect of baring my legs in shorts.
But I am about a million miles away, in terms of self-image, from where I was on Jan. 1, 2002. That was the first of my low moments. Knowing that I was no longer pregnant, but still unable to fit in any of my clothes, stung.
More low moments followed. Seeing photos of "That Fat Girl." Hearing the scale shout "TWO HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE!" at me. Feeling the snugness of the super-stretchy pants I found, the largest ones I could get in the "regular" department, so that I could have something to wear when I returned to work.
When I fell down the stairs and injured myself, holding my baby, I realized things had to change. When I finally gained the ability to walk again, I changed.
I knew my weight issue had more to do with how I felt about the numbers I was seeing than the numbers themselves. Sure, I wanted to be able to shop in regular departments for regular sizes, but more than that, I wanted to walk up the stairs without panting. I wanted to feel good about myself, not embarrassed, so I could model self-love to my child, not a hidden self-loathing.
I started by seeking psychotherapy, and by establishing a relationship with exercise.
Exercise helped give me endorphins I badly needed, and was a way to connect with nature, and with my daughter.
I would stick her in the backpack, and we would walk all around Tacoma. Point Defiance Park was a favorite haunt, as were The Museum of Glass, the UWT campus and my Northwest Tacoma neighborhood.
I became fit, and sub-two hundred pounds. I decided to run a race. Once I completed the Sound to Narrows 5K, I decided to give triathlons a try.
I completed my first sprint triathlon at one hundred eighty-something pounds, and determined that the next year, I would complete all three in the Fort Lewis Triple Threat series, in addition to running the Bank-to-Bay 10K and the Sound-to-Narrows 12K.
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