Sasquatch Coitus Interruptus

I've never been to the Sasquatch Music Festival until this year, and I have to tell you, there is really no greater venue than the Columbia River Gorge. Over Memorial Day Weekend, I ventured down over to Quincy, WA for that Saturday to see headliners The Decemberists and Kings of Leon, as well as other acts Bon Iver, Maria Bamford, etc. My sister and I didn't stay all three days because - well - we couldn't afford the three-day passes and three nights of camping.

That Saturday night, as the sun was setting over the river, cooling down the venue about 15 degrees, The Decemberists hit the main stage for an hour-long complete set of their newest album, "The Hazards of Love." About halfway through, during "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid," everyone in the enormous audience glanced to the left and started cheering and waving their fists. I thought to myself, "Um, you guys, they're over there, not up on the hill." For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the heck everyone was looking at. Just then, my sister saw what was putting the crowd in a tizzy.

"Look, Abby! Up there, by the fence," she shouted.

There were four fences, so her description did me no good. People still cheered, whistled and laughed. I thought, "Oh, it's a streaker."

Nope. My sister, fed up with my wandering eyes, grabbed my head to faced it towards what everyone was looking at.

Lo and behold, a man and woman were up on the cliff, amidst the brush and twigs, naked, having sex. In front of thousands of people. Colin Meloy, the frontman of The Decemberists, even glanced over and snickered at the exhibitionists doing the "dirty-dirty" on the hill. At one point, a security guard walked over to stop them, but just stood there and looked out at the main stage crowd and threw up his fist. Then more cheering ensued. Eventually the guards had to put a stop to the love-making, and when they started putting their clothes on, the crowd started booing - myself included. Hey, they weren't doing any harm. They were far enough away so that anyone on the ground below could just see the silhouettes of two people thrusting against each other.

Now that's enough to bring anyone back after a moment like that. No way am I missing next year's festival. I'll even camp too.